They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but apples do often roll in radically different directions: some end up in a rich and piquant Bavarian torte and others land in a McDonald’s pie that tastes like moist cardboard and appears destined for the quaggy, cankerous bowels of Donald John Trump.
Similarly, siblings are often at opposite poles politically—and in numerous other ways. And these differences appear particularly stark when one sibling is a U.S. senator who continues to burnish his racist bona fides under the klieg lights of media scrutiny and the other is, well, not.
Such is the case with Alabama Sen. Tommy Tuberville and his brother Charles. Charles Tuberville, a Tulsa, Oklahoma-based singer, songwriter, and guitarist who’s played with notables such as B.B. King and Delbert McClinton, has taken note of Tommy’s frequent racist dog-whistling/vituperative vuvuzela-ing and is calling him out over his pig-ignorant comments.
RELATED STORY: Sen. Tuberville makes openly racist remarks on Don Jr.’s web show
AL.com:
The brother of U.S. Senator Tommy Tuberville is speaking out on social media, saying he is “compelled to distance” himself from some of the lawmaker’s recent statements.
“Due to recent statements by him promoting racial stereotypes, white nationalism and other various controversial topics, I feel compelled to distance myself from his ignorant, hateful rants,” Charles Tuberville stated in a Facebook post.
“What I’m trying to say is that, I DO NOT agree with any of the vile rhetoric coming out of his mouth. Please don’t confuse my brother with me. Thanks, Charles Tuberville.”
Okay, so brothers often fight. That’s typical—and not really a big deal. And how bad can Sen. Tuberville’s public comments really be, huh? Well, we’ve researched this, and we now have an answer—and that answer is, “pretty fucking bad.”
For instance, in an interview last week on Donald Trump Jr.’s streaming show “Triggered,” Tuberville wondered aloud if teachers in the inner cities can even read. Because, you know, some sitting U.S. senators can barely read, and look how much they get paid for doing essentially nothing.
“The COVID really brought it out about how bad our schools are and how bad our teachers are, in the inner city. Most of them in the inner city, I don’t know how they got degrees,” Tuberville said. “I don’t know whether they can read and write. … And they want a raise. They want less time to work, less time in school. It’s just, we’ve ruined work ethic in this country. We don’t work at it anymore. We push an easy life.”
Yeah, imagine a country where a football coach who doesn’t know what the three branches of government are can just plop his ignorant ass into a U.S. Senate seat because he was endorsed by a shitty reality show host who spends the bulk of his morning tweeting obscenities on the toilet. That’s an education crisis of Brobdingnagian proportions. Also, if you’re trying to make a point about pervasive failures in our education system, maybe don’t start sentences with “The COVID.”
Of course, this isn’t the first time Tuberville has worn his racism on his sleeve. For instance, earlier this month, when asked if white nationalists should be allowed to serve in the military, he said, in reference to the Biden administration, “They call them that. I call them Americans.”
He then went on to elaborate, because why stop when you’re on a roll? “We are losing in the military so fast. Our readiness in terms of recruitment. And why? I’ll tell you why, because the Democrats are attacking our military, saying we need to get out the white extremists, the white nationalists, people that don’t believe in our agenda, as Joe Biden’s agenda. They’re destroying it.”
Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I really doubt that white nationalism makes our military stronger. How’s Vladimir Putin’s anti-woke army doing these days?
And last October, in the run-up to the midterm elections, Tuberville had this to say of slavery reparations: “They’re not soft on crime,” Tuberville said in reference to Democrats. “They’re pro-crime. They want crime. They want crime because they want to take over what you got. They want to control what you have. They want reparation because they think the people that do the crime are owed that.”
Whoopsie. Looks like Tommy forgot his racist dogwhistle and was forced to trot out his Aryan airhorn.
Many of us can sympathize with Charles, of course. Too many of us struggle to cope when family members—ignoring a coup attempt, bushels full of racism, overt mafia tactics, and literal calls to suspend the Constitution—go gaga each year over the return of their pumpkin-spiced Gotti.
But imagine if your name were dragged through the mud on a daily basis like Charles’ is. You’d want to speak up, too. Thanks for letting us know what a shitheel your brother is, Charles. We get it. Oh, do we ever. But it’s nice to know not everyone in the Tuberville clan is quite as Klannish as Tommy.
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.
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